After taking a long lunch at Bone Daddy’s, I was excited to get back to the office and snag an open visitor parking space. As I got out of my car I felt this moist sensation in my pants, like a wet dump had suddenly dropped. I figured it was a result of too much giggle time over mid-day Boob-A-Que and just peed all over myself and was just now realizing it. I think I should mention that in an effort to impress a client in the office today, the staff was tasked at looking somewhat presentable. I opted for my size six navy suit from Banana Republic, so I’m not exactly thrilled that the one day out of the week that I’m not in my usual Ross Less Mess, my pee pipes burst. I hurried inside the building to investigate. I pulled down my pants to find a massive clot of clear jello had landed in my full backs and was overflowing to my inner beef thighs. What the fuck? Was it the twerking waitress at Bone Daddy’s that had this effect on my toaster oven? Is there a party in my pants and I didn’t get invited? It’s like it’s Friday and my vagina is ready to party. I think this is a sign? I’m going to instigate sex tonight thanks to the hint that just dropped in my pants. Yes. I. Am.