Challenged Out

p>OK, so the challenge didn’t quite go as expected for me. As a neglected child from an athletic family,  I can proudly say it wasn’t a losing season  (thank gawd), my challenge record was 6-4.

Not that good, but not that bad either. 

Plus, the challenge inspired other tired wives and lady friends to mix up period panty Tuesdays and full back Fridays for something a little more, how shall I say, less mommy-like. I can also proudly report that I met my husband at home, on a Monday, in the afternoon, for a little vagin / penis meet and greet. Can I get a WHA WHA? I think I let our mid afternoon throw down get to my head though, it was like this act removed me from my obligation to finish the challenge strong. After day five, I got tired. Real tired. it went something like this (minus the fuchsia dress).  

I was actually a bit surprised by the level of enthusiasm by my fellow challengers. Two of them in particular had an almost perfect record.

So what did we learn?

Well, we learned that I can in fact get turned on a Monday and married women can challenge themselves and take their pop tarts to new – well really old heights. That’s pretty much the big take away for me.

Since the completion of the challenge, things in my house settled back into place…. just the way I like it.

Day 2

Queue the Law & Order transition music.

Today started off similar to yesterday however, my commitment to waking up early was even more deflated than yesterday, in large part due to my triumphant day one. As my bear-like husband awoke me this morning, I thought to myself do it – just do it, now’s the time! It was almost as if I was trying to convince myself that there was a chance I would be able to gather my wits and climb aboard, but all the while knowing that I didn’t have it in me to put him in me. It’s Friday though, and you all know what that means….. cockers, lots and lots of cockers. Lucky for me, we received a nice plump package of fresh Omaho Steaks yesterday that will come in handy tonight, there’s nothing like a medium rare piece of red meat to get my clam chowdering.

Will day two blow my cover? I have this fear of him turning me down or worse, finding out about the challenge…

Mission Status: Pending
Anticipated scene in my living room tonight (I’m playing the part of the reindeer): 

 

Day 2 Continued:
Status: Incomplete
Reason: Rejection
Feeling: Defeated
Vodka Count: 6
Level of disappointment:

Day 1

It’s day one of the 10 day challenge and I’m behind schedule as usual. I went to bed anxious last night, I set my alarm for earlier than normal – not by too much, I figured we’d only need about 5 minutes. I laid my cell directly next to me on the night stand so that I would hear the sound of “thrift shop” awake me so that I could get a kick start to my 10 day sex bender. Unfortunately, my body has the same reaction to waking up to work out as it does to waking up to have sex. I pressed snooze about 8 times until my husband did his normal departure wave out the bedroom door.

I am not deterred yet though. Just as I do with my not so routine running schedule, I will just have to take care of business after work. I mean sex on the weekdays can’t be that difficult, right?

 

Day 1 Continued:
Mission status: complete
Time of day: approx 5:30 pm
Level of enthusiasm:

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